A very quick post to let you all know that I have another job!
*Hopefully* this will lead to things being a lot more settled professionally – and me posting more regularly again. It certainly feels a lot more grown-up, not least because this is the first permanent job I have had in my life. I will still have time for my freelance teaching, but the most important and valuable thing that this job will give me is more of a routine – and a better idea of how much time I can commit to blogging and designing. It’s been difficult to get any sense of that in the last few months, and I haven’t been able to help watching time pass by as I wish I could sit and have the luxury of a few hours each week to write, draw, sketch, swatch, experiment – ANYTHING at all. Process and progress, I kept telling myself. I’m a step closer with each passing day.
In a way, this is as much a celebratory post as it is a little announcement. It is the culmination of a long-term ambition. When I left my old research job in higher education, I did so without knowing quite what I wanted to do; only what I didn’t want to do. And although negative dialectics have their place and are equally useful, I had to be extra patient and imaginative when it came to working out whether there was a new career that would suit me – or whether I would have to carve out a new job for myself based on my skillset and what I liked to do.
In just over two months’ time, it will have been six years since I left my last relatively secure job. April 24th of this year also marked two years of being completely self-employed, without a regular income. Most of the time, it has been sheer hard work and determination, none of which has been without false starts, rejection, disappointment – and tears. But I, and anyone else taking the plunge into the unknown, kept going. Eventually, momentum builds. What nobody tells you is how consuming and draining it is to build momentum from nothing. Hopes, dreams and wishes are the fuel in the tank; effort, determination and perseverance is the horsepower in the engine.
You have to keep going because there are only two reasons for stopping: when you think you’ve tried hard enough, or when you’ve got what you wished for. There’s no wrong answer; the right answer is the one that feels right in your gut. For me, it was the second reason. Eventually, there’s a kindling, the magic happens, and flames spark into life. You work out how best to tend the fire and build it so that it’s a warming, roaring success. And then there are more tears – happiness, joy and relief. It has all paid off.
You might gather from all this that I haven’t had much time to knit, crochet or sew anything pretty in the last few weeks: this is also because my home is still a bit of a mess with decorating! It seems that life is all coming together, piece by piece, the inner reflecting the outer. What I have found time for is learning how to use this 150 year-old machine and its bigger, mangle-like neighbour. Here’s a snap as a taster for my next post, and a thank you for still reading my little blog, despite my long absences lately. 🙂